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As one uncle put it to me [I’m Congolese], “If you married a Nigerian, how would you cope if he wanted to retire in Nigeria? Could we really say that relationships would be easier if we were with someone of the same origin?
If you’re going to marry a foreigner, marry a white man.” These were the words that fell from my friend’s mother’s mouth when her daughter told her she was dating a Nigerian man because she was tired of Congolese men. ”, said my friend in response, defiantly challenging her mother, to my dismay (anybody knows better than to challenge an African mother! White people “White people don’t have much culture; it’s easy to adapt either way. Was it really for our own good to find our life partners within our own culture?
However, even in Congo a country that boasts a long history of tribalism, there came a time during the Mobutu regime when he encouraged tribes and regions to unite because he understood that a united Congo meant a stronger state.
Can we apply the same line of reasoning to our argument and suggest that perhaps if we as Africans remain open to marrying people from other African countries, could we also have a stronger and united Africa?
And why was it better to date a white person rather than another African?
Some field digging I did a bit of digging to get the views of other people of African origin on intercultural dating.
Language “The problem is language; it’s the major issue” 36-year-old Alexi from Congo told me.
“For most of us English is not our first language, we think in our mother tongue then translate it into English.
Certainly not, but they certainly have embraced other cultures more and are willing to look past any real, imagined or expected obstacles.
An older woman asked me: “How many mixed cultured couples do you know who have grown old together?
” True I didn’t know any mixed elderly couples, but perhaps this is because there is a greater diversity of Africans living in the diaspora than there were 30 years ago.
Furthermore, as a new generation embracing and becoming more comfortable with cultural differences, might not some of us become examples for future generations of the mixed-culture couples that lasted, if we last?
I was born and raised in Cameroon in a small town called kumba. I'm ready to risk for a just course., i am loving, affectionate, understanding, passionate, honest romantic,.
I went to a secondary school that was predominantly West African and attended a university that was predominantly white, so my choices were wide and I dated a few of those choices.